I Hate My Neighbors.

I thought it was bad when they would wake me up at night with their sex.

I would slowly open my eyes, and try to figure out why I had woken up. It always seemed as though something was just not quite right...then I would realize my ceiling was squeeking. The squeeking would continue, growing faster and louder, and then the moaning would reach a pitch loud enough to be heard right through their floor and into my room. I felt like I was overhearing a porn soundtrack.

It seemed as though it was happening often, with greater frequency and at odd times of the day. I told my roommate that I thought one of them had to be sneaking someone else over. There's no way one couple can have that much crazy sex with so much enthusiasm.

It seems as if I was right, because now they hate each other. I think he must have gotten busted, because homegirl is no longer a happy camper. She stomps around and screams and slams doors. We can hear her sitting on the front steps screaming into the phone (right outside of our living room; She's so considerate.) "Where are you?!?! Who are you with?!?!" I'm hoping they'll just break up soon and move the fuck out. My rabbit's being traumatized by all this anger in the air.

posted by Just Call Me Fabulous @ 11:18 AM