Sunday, January 22, 2006

Just Roll With It

My cell phone bill this month is almost four hundred dollars. So much for paying off my credit card.

I swear I've eaten more real food in the past three days than I normally would in three weeks. The Captain of Industry came to visit me this weekend and he doesn't do Jack in the Box. It's a brave new world.

I've come to the conclusion over the last year or so that no one and no thing can make me happy. Happiness is a personal choice. And in the past relationships of mine have suffered because I relied too heavily on my significant other to bring me happiness. I've learned that my happiness is no one else's responsibility but my own. My duty is to find reasons for joy in the people and circumstances I have in my life. I've spent the last few months reveling in the discovery of this power I have over my temperament. I've often struggled with bouts of depression that I couldn't seem to find a way out of; I coped with it by hiding my unhappiness from everyone except those closest to me and denying to myself that anything was wrong. I don't want to do that anymore. I have a responsibility to myself and the people I care about to be more mature than that. I have several goals for the upcoming year; one of them is to live my life in a manner in which I am grateful each and every day for all of the wonderful things in my life, and to share my happiness with those around me. My second goal is to shower every day and not pass out drunk with my makeup still on.

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