Saturday, January 05, 2008

Hot BOO'dan, cold coosh coosh, come on tigahs, poosh poosh poosh!*

The glorious and distinguished football team of my beloved alma mater (also the institution at which I am currently pursuing a graduate degree) will be playing in the BCS National Championship Game come Monday at approximately 7:15 pm Central Standard Time.

I am a girl of enthusiastic school and team spirit. During four years of undergraduate education, I missed only two home football games, and compensated for these regrettable absences by attending two regular season away games, a conference championship game, and a postseason bowl game during my tenure as a student ticket holder.

I'm not sure I even knew that LSU had a football team until about six months before enrolling for my first semester, but that very year we won the National Championship title and from that day forward the bar has been set high in my mind regarding LSU's ability to out-tackle, out-pass, out-run and out-score even the most worthy of opponents.

Some of my dearest friends consider themselves to be intellectually superior to such things as football. I scoff at this notion. They're not that smart anyway.

I take it all back, they are all very smart. They just don't know how sweet it is to be a fan of the most glorious collegiate football team in the nation.

Besides, it's about more than just watching giant muscled men, many of whom I admit are attending college based solely on athletic ability, run back and forth across a field throwing a ball around and knocking each other over.

It's about taking an institution which has given you almost as much as your parents--friendships, mentors, life lessons, priceless memories, and a formal education, to name a few contributions--and showing your appreciation and loyalty by donning purple and gold head to toe and screaming like a maniac to RUN THE FUCKING BALL!!!

It's about being a part of something bigger. It's about a having three dearly held beliefs in common with 92,000 people I'm sharing a stadium with: Ole Miss can geaux to hell, Auburn girls have the clap clap clap, and USC is highly overrated. As there are generally very few beliefs I hold in common with the majority of my fellow Louisiana residents (blue vote red state), this phenomenon is very valuable to me.

I feel the need to mention that one of my dearest friends went to Auburn and, to my knowledge, she does not, in fact, have the clap. However, I choose to ignore this fact the one day each year that our two teams meet on a football field.

Quick side note: On Monday I will start my new internship at my dream job: Juvenile Probation. I've been wanting to work in juvenile justice since I was sixteen and hopelessly in love with an adorably mislead youth recently released from juvenile detention. I'm almost as excited about this as I am about the game.

At precisely five p.m. on Monday, I will conclude my first day at my (unpaid) dream job and promptly rush home to put on every garment and accessory in either purple or gold I own--right down to earrings and underwear. I will then rush to my favorite game watching venue, which is offering an amazing deal consisting of all the beer and popcorn my little belly can hold, a generous plate of red beans and rice, and a front row seat to watch the game on a giant projection screen, all for the amazingly low price of only ten dollars. Beer and popcorn in hand, I will enthusiastically observe my beloved tigers fight for what is sure to be glorious victory.

And now, to conclude my spirited rant on why my team is the greatest to ever grace the sport of football, I will share with you, dear internet, the lesser known, yet beautiful, second verse of LSU's alma mater. And if you think for a second that if I had the equipment, I wouldn't record my voice singing the entire song and upload it for you all to enjoy, you really don't know me very well at all.

All praise to thee, our Alma Mater, moulder of mankind,
May greater glory, love unending, be forever thine.
Our worth in life will be thy worth, we pray to keep it true,
And may thy spirit live in us, forever L-S-U!!!!!!!!!!

Also: A fellow blogger and LSU fan with a post I find hilarious and believe any football fan can appreciate.

*Translation: Hot boudin, cold couscous, come on tigers, push push push!

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