Donkey

"His nickname is Donkey."

"Ooooh, is it because he's a democrat?"

"No, it's because his dick is huge."

As enticing as this introduction may have seemed, by the end of the night I wanted nothing to do with this frat boy with an apparently huge dick. I got a firsthand glimpse of how frat boys with huge dicks act when they want something--his idea of subtle pursual bordered on harassment. I guess he hasn't been told no in a while.

"No, I do not want to go home with you, and you're coming on too strong."

It seems as though this would have deterred him, but obviously I was too kind in my assessment of his intelligence. And the friend who had introduced us apparently decided any attempt to protect me from his overzealous advances would have been cockblocking, leaving me to fend off this drunk asshole trying to stick his tongue in my mouth all alone.

I struggled to be polite, yet honest, to no avail. I wanted to scream at him, "I am not being coy, get the fuck away from me."

I should have been rude, I should have been blunt. I should have told my friend he was an asshole for not watching out for me and left. Instead I stuck it out, avoiding the guy as much as possible, and spending twenty minutes trying to get him away from my car so I could leave.

I emailed Best Friend Roommate the next morning, still upset. It takes a lot to ruin my good time--usually any event involving music and alcohol I'm pretty much guaranteed to enjoy no matter what.

My email ended with this: "My mood has been soured. I want a nice boy. I want respect, and intelligent conversation, and amazing sex with someone who knows what I like, not some drunk frat boy who wants to take me back to his disgusting room so he can cum in three strokes and never call me again."

(sorry Mom, if that hurt your eyes)

I don't know what I want, but it's not him.



Note: For clarification purposes, I did not go back to his frat house. I went home, alone, and got called a prude for it.

posted by Just Call Me Fabulous @ 4:32 PM