on falling

Here I go, rushing right into another relationship. I'm neurotic, and thus terrified. I've always had a tendency to want to plan everything out in meticulous detail, and the inclusion of a romantic partner in the eqution throws in all kinds of unpredictable possibilities. What if I fall in love? What if I don't? What if I don't want to say goodbye in a year, and end up dragging his ass off to grad school with me? Would that be good for me? Would I be happy with that outcome? Or worse, what if I want to embark on that adventure alone, and tell him he can't come along? Is it fair for me to throw caution to the wind and fall in love with a boy whom I know I'll be leaving?

It's just that I'm not that young anymore. My parents were married when they were our age. I'm terrified of getting caught up in something that I'm not sure I'm ready for.

posted by Just Call Me Fabulous @ 2:09 PM