Tuesday, October 03, 2006

damage control

There are a million roads I could take from here, but I'm handling it the best way I know how: I'm letting him fix it. I'm still angry, I'm still hurt, but making him stay away seems like it would be punishing myself as much as him.

I spent a lot of time talking to both of our mothers yesterday. I told my professors I was sick and took the day to cope with this. He's been bringing me flowers and chocolate, taking me to dinner at my favorite restaurant, dancing with me by candelight. He's saying things he was always scared to say before. I think he's more upset than I am. I don't know what else to do but stay angry, let him spoil me, and make sure it never happens again.

Maybe I'm being stupid, naive, a pushover. Maybe I'm asking for trouble. But ya know, I've been hurt before. I can handle it. He's too perfect in too many ways for me to end it over one mistake. If it turns out I'm wrong, so be it. I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.


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