quite possibly the bravest thing I have ever done in my life

I've worked in inner-city schools and soup kitchens. I walk around the ghetto looking for homeless kids. I go pretty much anywhere I think the poor people are, dangerous or not, figuring if they have to be there then I can be there too. Sometimes it's scary, but that's nothing compared to this.

I turned down the lights, cranked up the music, and pretended I was Mimi. I swiveled, I shimmied, I shook. I dipped and swung and grinded (grinded? ground? What's the correct past-tense form of the dance move, as opposed to the food processing technique?). And I bumped. Oh, did I bump. But mostly I just rolled my hips.

I threw coy looks over my shoulder, trying not to collapse into a lump of embarrassment. I'd seen the instructional DVD with real life white trash strippers, and I knew what to do. I had the moves, I could fake the guts. Just like that time I got drunk and thought we were playing strip poker, not regular hold 'em. Except this time wasn't quite so awkward.

And that's the story of my first-ever lap dance.

posted by Just Call Me Fabulous @ 9:58 PM